Bangkok, Oriental City

12/31 New Year's Eve

I'm back in Bangkok. I've completed a long 3 month loop of SE Asia. I started here on Oct. 5th, and have gone overland, by bus and by boat, counter-clockwise through southern Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, and now back here. It's a perfect time to be back here, full circle, just as the year ends and a new one begins. So many thoughts and impressions filling my mind. After arriving yesterday and finding a new hotel that was recommended to me by the man with the greatest job in the world (more about him later), I walked down Kho San Road. It was same same as ever, but it was interesting to notice how different my mind was after my 3 months of adventure. When I arrived here from Seattle, I found Kho San Road to be overwhelming in it's commercialism and tourists. I found myself wanting to buy all kinds of trinkets and clothes and eat the cheap street food and drink beers...and I found it impossible to meet anyone. Everyone seems so young and to be traveling with other young people, and they are all having a great time. Last night, as I walked down the middle of the street, filled with, once again, 20-something scantily-clad western women and hippy/party boys all drinking and buying, buying and drinking, I sensed a definite shift in my mind: It was completely calm. This is still the loneliest place to be when you are traveling alone, but I didn't feel it nearly so much as I did when I first arrived here. I had no desire to shop or drink beer or eat the cheap Thai food from the countless stalls. I simply wanted to sell back my book, which I had finally finished just before arriving back where I bought it. Anna Karenina is over 800 pages long. An 18th century Russian Classic by Tolstoy. It was strange to be immersed in Russian history and characters while bounding across SE Asia, but that's what I chose to read when I arrived here. I bought it for ten bucks on Kho San Road, and last night, I sold it back for 2.50, which I used to buy myself dinner.

Kho San Road. It's horrible and lonely yet so lively and full of beautiful people. It's not Bangkok, it's not anywhere. It's a bubble, a caricature of itself. I felt completely outside of it even as I was in the middle of it. I realized then just what my trip has done to me after 3 months. I am now a calm traveler. I am now "in the groove" as it were. I am centered within myself, no matter what's going on around me. Being here on new year's eve is also ironic because this is where I was exactly 3 years ago with Robin, whom I was with for 5 years until last February. We had just come back from the bus trip that everyone talks about: the road from hell from Siem Reap (Angkor Wat) in Cambodia to Bangkok. We were both needing to stay near our guesthouse since we both needed close access to our toilet for reasons I need not explain. Comparing that trip to this one is impossible. This is a long solo wander, while that was a short, tightly-scheduled "couples" trip. Simply being in Bangkok alone already magnifies one's aloneness, but adding to it the memories of a previous trip with someone you love makes it even more so. Fortunately, I am now much more comfortable with being alone. I've been alone a lot during this trip and I think it's finally feeling ok not only to be alone, which always felt ok to me, but to feel lonely. Feeling lonely feels ok now because I know I won't be alone for long. There is always someone new and unexpected just around the corner. For example....

Two nights ago, my last night in Laos, I met the man with the greatest job in the world. His name is Michael McGarrigle. He's from Ireland, in case the name didn't give that away. A few years back he quit his job as an engineer, sold all he had, and decided to take a 3 year trip around the world. Sounds great, right? Except that when you do that, you come back home with nothing. No savings, no job, no home. Scary. Too scary for me. When I go back home, I will have a little money left (I hope), a home to return to, and since I work for my own business, I will hopefully be able to ask myself for my job back. Michael's also a musician, and before he left, he was looking for a certain type of travel guitar to take with him on his journey, but he was having a difficult time locating one. So, he managed to get on the local public radio station to talk about his forthcoming trip and ask over the airwaves if anyone had this guitar that he could purchase for his adventure. Well, as luck would have it, some producer from the BBC was listening to his plans and called in to ask him if he would be interested in documenting his trip with a video camera for a BBC series. After meeting with the producers, Michael got a 3 year, all-expenses paid contract with them! This was the first time the BBC has ever given anyone a 3 year contract for any show. He's got a great little Sony broadcast-quality camera, and some nice microphones. That's all he really needs. His gear probably weighs less than mine! Not only are all his expenses for the entire trip covered, but he also gets a fairly large salary (40k a year!) on top! In contrast, my travel budget for the entire year is 12,000 dollars. A thousand dollars a month, including flights. Michael is getting paid for traveling around the world and talking about it along the way. The show is called "Around the World in 1,080 Days". He is the writer, director, camera man and star of the show. He ships the tapes home and the folks back at the BBC edit them into 30 minute shows. What could be better???? I am green with envy. I spent my last morning hanging with him in Vientiane. He asked me to shoot some video of him riding up to the camera on his rented motorbike and talking about arriving in Laos. He had just arrived the day I met him and he only had two weeks there, so he was on a tight schedule there. In return for the "favor" of shooting video for him, he bought me breakfast and I will get a camera credit on the show! Then we went to the holiest of Lao temples on his motorbike and I took photos while he shot video. It was great! He's a super nice guy and I really enjoyed talking to him and hanging out with him that day. I left that evening on a bus bound for Bangkok. Had my visa not expired that day, I would have happily traveled with him for a while! But we were going opposite directions. This often happens. I meet very cool people but we find that we are going different directions and so we only get to spend a short while together, sometimes only a day, sometimes a few days. If I am lucky I meet some people who are going in my same direction (Nada, Marc, Nicole, Chieko), but more often, they are not (Irene, Paul, Tim, Jeremy, just to name a few).
This is what travel is really about. Yes the temples and the culture and the food and the scenery are all very beautiful and great. But it's the experiences I have with the people I meet that really leave the strongest impressions on me. OK, I must figure out what I'm going to do here on New Year's Eve!

Happy New Year to all my friends and family everywhere!

Love,
Greg

Things I've Lost

When you are traveling as long and moving as much as I am on this trip, you are bound to lose things. Everything you lose is important in some way, or you wouldn't be carrying it, so it's always painful to discover that you've lost even the smallest thing. When it's a big thing that you've lost, it becomes that much more painful, especially if it's difficult to replace and/or expensive. So, as a cathartic way for me to get over my losses, I am listing everything I've lost up to now, three months into my trip, listed roughly chronologically.

----
My Journal. I lost it before I even got to Bangkok on the stopover in Taipai. Not a great way to start the trip. Fortunately only two days were written in it.

Vancouver baseball cap. The second thing I lost after my journal. Left it hanging behind a towel in a room, I think.

My Wallet. Don't know how or where, but somewhere in Sihanoukville. Only 10 bucks in it, and it was falling apart anyway, so I wasn't too upset.

My shark bag: Left on bus from Hanoi to Halong Bay.
I loved this bag. I've had it for years and I took it with me almost everywhere I went. I made this small bag from leftover silcone-nylon when I made all of my ultralight gear for Hawaii. II called it the "shark bag" because it had a small plastic shark attached to the drawcord. Inside was a collection of bits and pieces that I liked to have with me with regularly. Fortuntately for me, I had just slimmed it down for my trip to Halong Bay, where I only brought my daypack and my camera bag, so I only lost some dramamine, some band-aids, a blister kit, emergin-c, insect repellent, a lighter, earplugs, glass cleaner, lip balm, and some assorted drugs for pain/poops. It normally also contained my headlamp, swiss army knife, and my compass, all of which I would have been additionally bummed to lose. I've replaced it with a sandwich baggie that I've drawn a shark on.

Big red bandana. Lost in Vang Vien when I had a bag of laundry done and it was never returned to me. Remarkably, hard to replace here in Asia.

Red plastic carabineer. used it to hang my daypack on bus seatbacks. Lost on bus from Vang Vien to Luang Prabang.

A nice pen I bought in Vientianne. have no idea where or when exactly.

An almost brand new cell phone. Bought in in Saigon the end of October. Disappeared less than 2 months later sometime between leaving Luang Prabang by bus and coming back to Luang Prabang by boat 10 days later. Very irritating that I lost it so soon after buying it, I really liked it, and it wasn't cheap.

A lens cap and a lens end cap while hiking in villages around Moung Ngoi.

Canon SD500 Digital Camera. Ouch. This one hurts. Lost on boat from Nong Kiow to Luang Prabang. I'm sad about this one. I loved this camera and all the images on the card are obviously also gone. Hopefully I can replace the camera in Bangkok. It too was almost brand new. I bought it in September just before my trip. I am hoping my travel insurance will cover it and the cell phone loss together, because combined, they are a considerable chunk of money, and there is a 200.00 deductible on every claim.

A 1000 Bhat note (worth about 25.00) Lost most recently in the night market in Luang Prabang. It must have fallen out of my pocket or something. Still a big mystery. This was my holiday spending money, so I'm still quite vexed about it's disappearance.

It seems buses and boats tend to eat my stuff, so I must learn to be VERY careful about my gear when traveling by bus and boat. It's very easy for gear to be jostled from pockets and seats and fall to the floor where they are often never seen again. Also, if you determine that you've lost the item after the bus or boat has left, you are almost guaranteed never to see them again, as the busses and boats aren't reachable or identifiable once they've left, and, chances are, someone has already grabbed it anyway. Your stuff is gone gone gone. Take my word - be very careful of gear on boats and buses. I fairly certain that nothing I've lost was stolen, except perhaps that one red carabineer. Everything else has simply dropped away from me never to be seen again. It sucks. I don't consider myself a clumsy or bumbling traveller nor overly burdened with luggage and gear, but here I am losing things left and right and I hate it. So, I have to try to be even more careful in the future. Here's to not losing anything for the rest of the trip!


Things I THOUGHT I lost, but then found:

My digital camera

My ability to take a decent travel photo

My sunglasses

My SE Asia Phrase book

Things I've found:

Lots of friends

Cool culture

Great people

Unforgetable memories that I will probably forget by the time I reach India.

Grover is fine!

Just to let everyone know, Grover is recovering from his ear infection. Hooray! On the down side, my cat-stter/subletter Ahsha's Grandfather is ill and she wants to go to Oregon to visit him 1-2 weeks a month....so if anyone has any ideas that would be great. I'd hate to have to use my NUCLEAR OPTION of having to fly back home early to take care of my kitty. Anyone know how much it costs to have a cat sitter come in and hang with your cat for a week?

Muong Ngoi

I am back in a place that has electricity/internet. Laos has been fantastic. The people, the scenery, the simplicity of life here, it's all been such a great experience. I have spent the last several days up in a village on the Nam Ou river in Northern Laos that had indoor lighting for only 3 hours a night. From there, I met two guys, Tim, 50, from England but has been living in Australia for the last 5 years, and Paul, 54, from Wales who is nearing the end of his 1 year trip. They are great guys, and we immediately got along great. We decided to go on a trek without a guide through the villages in the area. It was definitely a highlight of my trip. I fashioned a rather spartan map of the route from hand-drawn maps hanging at little restaurants in the villages, and although we got lost a few times, got our legs riddled with leeches, and made, we are certain, several nearly unforgivable faux pas in every village we walked into, we can say we did it ourselves! Some of the highlights of the trek include getting lost for almost half the day on the first day, stumbling though leech-infested trails that led only to fish traps down at a river, and finally giving up and heading back to our first village for dinner and trying to figure out where we took a wrong turn. We NEVER did figure out how, exactly, we got so turned around, so we decided to skip that route at take a shorter route that would give us one more night in a remote mountain village and then drop down to a village on the main river and get a boat back to our main village where we started. Along the way, without fail, we would walk into the village just in time to see the women bathing at the town spring. We stopped for lunch and had some rather bland food with the ubiquitous sticky rice that is served with nearly every meal here in Laos. We couldn't eat even half of the mound of sticky rice they gave us, so we put it in a bag and took it with us. Hours later, we arrive at this fantastic little mountain village and are lead to the village chief who has the only place for us to stay. We greet the chief and his wife and, not knowing what else to do with it, we offer them our sticky rice. The look at us like we have just farted, but politely take it and we walk off to see the village before it gets dark. As we are walking away, I turn back to see the wife feeding the sticky rice to the mangiest dog in town. If there was anything worse to offer these remote villagers than day-old sticky rice, the ONE THING they absolutely do not need, I can't think of it. Can you imagine? Oh look, foreigners with big expensive cameras have come to our village! I'm sure they have something new and wondrous to offer us! And here it is.....dog food. Once we realized our mistake we had a big laugh about it and started calling ourselves the Sticky Rice Stooges. I'm sure the villagers thought we were complete idiots. I joined the kids in a game I've seen all around Laos. I don't know the name of it, but it's basically volleyball, but with a woven rattan ball that you kick or header over the net. No hands allowed. I figured my hacky sack days would finally pay off now...but once I started playing, I realized I hadn't played hacky sack in over 10 years. Still, I got the ball over more than once and had a good time with them. The crowd of smiling villagers watching us seemed to confirm that perhaps we were forgiven for the extremely disappointing gift of sticky rice. There were so many fantastic photos to take in this village, but we all found ourselves quite unable to take very many because it just seemed invasive and maybe a little disrespectful. Even asking to take their pictures seemed embarrassing. So I ended up taking only a few photos of this village. But let me describe it: it's like a farm. There are pigs and chickens and dogs and children roaming around everywhere. The men hunt the forest with these long-barreled muskets, which must be quite accurate because they are bringing home the smallest of birds, which seemed to be the only thing left in the forest that hasn't been eaten by them. We did see the tails and skins of some furry four-legged creatures, perhaps civets or some kind of other small mammal. We had seen, sadly, a few baby monkeys tied to trees as pets at villages along the way, but here, thankfully, there weren't any. Perhaps they had already been eaten. We had also seen a few birds stuffed in the smallest of wooden cages, looking miserable and hardly able to move. Nearly all the cats we have seen have had their tails chopped off, leaving only a few inches of stumpy tail. Why? Cat tail soup? Superstition? No idea. In this village, at least the chickens and pigs and cows all looked healthy and reasonably happy. The people also seemed content and happy despite the dusty shacks they called home. So, given that there were so many animals wandering around the village, we expected our dinner to be chunks of bland meat and sticky rice. What we got, however, was completely unexpected. His wife prepared our meal in the kitchen: a small fire on the dirt floor, a single knife and a piece of wood on the ground. All preparing and cooking is done in candlelight while squatting on the ground. In this remote, dusty village, in the Chief's house, his wife came out with a large platter of the most wonderful, fragrant, flavorful vegetarian food we have ever eaten. It was impossible to explain. On our trek into town, Tim had found a strange fuzzy orange plant laying in the path that looked like a small pitcher plant. When we arrived, we asked the chief what it was, and he got excited, grabbed a large bag from inside his house, and showed us a bag full of beautiful red and white flowers. What we had found was the outer shell that these flowers grow out of. At dinner, we found a plate full of these flowers, now cooked and blackened and seasoned. They were absolutely delicious, with a peppery flowery taste, and great texture. There was some kind of gingery, pulpy chili condiment that was spicy/hot but very flavorful as well. The other dish had a variety of greens and veggies and fruits in it that were completely foreign to us, some of it may have been tender bamboo shoots, but much larger than I've ever seen, all cooked in a delicious curry sauce that had hints of coriander and coconut milk. It was all so so good you can't imagine our surprise and delight. Breakfast was equally surprising and wonderful. We were completely taken aback, especially considering the village has NO WATER in it. To wash and get water, you have to haul it from the stream about a quarter mile out of town. So as you can imagine, these people are all in great shape and the women are all beautiful. Since there is no electricity, it seems the only thing to do at night to keep warm and be entertained is sit around the fire, drink lao lao, and have sex. Not a bad life I suppose. The next morning, we head out and immediately take a wrong turn because our village chief tell us to take a left turn 4 KM out of town, so the first left turn out of town, about 300 meters from the last structure in the village, we completely ignore thinking it can't possibly be THIS left turn, so soon after the village....after a good 40 minutes of hiking up a hill along a ridge, we meet some Laos people who indicate that we have taken a wrong turn and that the trail to Hasaphuay, our destination, is back the way we came, actually way back at that first left turn out of the village. So we lost about 70 minutes or so from that wrong turn. But the VIEWS from that wrong turn were amazing, we were actually looking down into two valleys, east and west, while we hiked along a high ridge. A very nice wrong turn. So down we go into the valley, now certain we are on the right track because the locals have once again gotten us going the right way. We are becoming convinced that they must, by now, believe we are complete idiots. The trail down into the valley is astouding, a beautiful, steep mountain is in front of us, teeming with giant forest trees and hanging vines. Below us are rice terraces and banana plants along the rivver. Once at the base of the valley, near the river, we find ourselves hiking through a beautiful bananna forest, then giant bamboo, then the trail goes right into the river. It seems strange to hike in the river at first, and for a time, we stop and try to suss out whether or not we have taken a wrong turn. Looking around, the river is gorgeous with hanging vines, and gouged stone, it's actually very easy walking and so lovely, we vote to continue forward and hope it's a trail. After about 20 minutes of hiking down the river, just when we are all starting to worry that this can't be the trail...we find a trail that looks fairly used coming out of the river for a spell before dropping back in once again. So we continue down more and finally see are very wide, steep, slippery trail heading up out of the river. It looks steep but is clearly in heavy use, so we head up, very steeply. It's not 100 meters up when we start to realize that this just can't be right. It's incredibly steep and there are no foot steps carved into the clay-like earth, like almost the entire rest of the trail. That's when it dawns on me that this isn't a trail, but a log shoot. Just then, from above, comes this splintering banging racket.... Just kidding. Actually, from below, a villager spots us and explains in laos that we are going the wrong way. When we get back down to the river, he's disappeared. So we walk not 5 steps further down the river and see the actually trail winding up out of the river bank just 5 meters from the log slid. We are once again feeling like absolute fools. After another hour of hiking, we finally drop down to the river and our final village, Hasaphuay, where we hope to hire a boat back down the river to muoang ngoi, the adventure complete. Arriving in Hasaphuay, the first person we meet is a man who appears to have a boat and wants to take us to Muong Ngoi. Ok, that was easy. We gesture that first, we would like to eat. So we are lead to the middle of the village where we sit under a house while children and older men gather around to stare at us. The children are carrying smaller children on their backs, and the men are all carrying children on their backs. The women are all beautiful and many of them are pregnant with even more children. Soon a crowd of children is watching us. We don't even realize how many children are gathering around us, because we are too busy trying to soak in this extraordinary setting. There are beautiful women walking through the village, there are beautiful women bathing at the local outdoor spring across the street, there's a beautiful young woman pounding rice with a see-saw contraption that has a big stone on one side pounding into a larger stone mortar filled with un-hulled rice, and in a see-saw action, see steps on the far side of the board to lift the stone up and down into the mortar. In front of her is a baby sitting in a rice basket. The entire scene is surreal in it's simplicity and beauty. And I, a "professional" photographer, found that I just couldn't raise my camera for fear of ruining the moment. It would have been rude to take a photo without asking, and if I ask, it ruins the magic, whether they refuse or not. So I didn't take a photo of any of these things. It was for the best, I think. However, I then snap out of my vaguely leacharous Laos beauties daydream that had something to do with impregnating several of them, I realize that we have a sizable audience of children in front of us. A table seems to appear out of nowhere in the middle of the village "square" and a delicious rice noodle soup is prepared for us right there in the middle of town. We sit and eat our delicous soup while all around us, curious eyes stare at us. Children and adult men alike. Hardly any women stop to stare, except a few older women a bit further away than the rest. The pretty younger women are probably smart to keep away from us. I feel compelled to entertain the gathering crowd, so I go and drum up three objects off the ground of approximatley the same size and weight: an orange, and two rocks. I juggle them for a while and then try to show Paul how to do it. He tries in front of the kids and can't do it, and they laugh. Then I do it again and I am actually doing pretty good with it. Then I stop and try to hand them to a child, who becomes surprised and nervous, and the crowd giggles. They are very shy and polite. Then I pick up my camera and take several photos of the kids and show them the pictures. They love it. All is good. I felt fine about photographing the kids, because I was interacting with them, entertaining them, and showing them the photos. I don't feel nearly so comfortable photographing the adults and especially the beautiful women, who are very camera shy anyway. After eating, the man we met on the trail takes us to his boat and we head downstream on some of the most beautiful river scenery I have ever seen. Just stunning karst mountians with gorgeous jungle dripping from them, villagers fishing and rowing and bathing on the shores. Incredible. After about a 20 minute boat ride, we arrive in Muong Ngoi with an incredible high from the entire experience. Tim and Paul were an absolute joy to hike with. They were both so easy-going and humorous and fun to be around. We voted on every questionable turn, and it all turned out extremely well. Just a great time. I have now redrawn the map with new details on the hike and I might have one of the better maps of the area at this point, since mine indicates times and elevation gains, and water sources and trail markers. We actaully felt a bit smug and a bit like experts advising other travellers in Moung Ngoi to head out into the villages and spend the night...it's so magical. I'll never forget it.

Now my Laos visa is coming to an end. I am heading back down towards Thailand now. I will stay in Luang Prabang until after Christmas, and then into Thailand by boat along the Mekong River from Luang Prabang to Chang Mai; a two or three day journey I think. I will celebrate New Year's in Chiang Mai and then head down to Bangkok to get my Burma visa and flight, ship some things home, and prepare for the next part of my adventure. After a month in Burma, I will be heading to India and Nepal for the following 3-4 months, then over to Cyprus and Egypt, and finally Italy, Prague, & Barcelona before heading back to the USA in September. What a trip this is! I can hardly believe how great this has been. Merry Christmas and happy new year!!

Vang Vien Caves

12/7

I'm still here. I really should be gone by now, but after a slow start, and then getting sick, and now today the weather was kind of cold for tubing, so I rented a scooter and went to a few caves. While at breakfast, I met an American woman named Sue . She was pretty from a distance, but after she came up to me and started talking, I was immediately unattracted to her. She's young, maybe 24, but she seems even younger. Everything's fucking rad, and so fucking cool, and every nice place was a good place to "party". Ugh. It was mildly amusing at first, but then it wasn't anymore. She sounded much dumber than she was. Anyway, she was nice enough, and despite her bothersome "partier from the states" dialect, she was still fun to explore caves with, namely because she had NEVER been in a cave before. This made it fun to listen to her go on about the "fawking awesome" stalactites and "gnarly" rock formations. Besides, it REALLY WAS "fawking awesome". We had a guide take us into the caves and we were able to hike deep inside about 3 KM through one of them, leading us back back back to where there was an underground river. We took off most of our clothes and swam there! It was very fun! After swimming and a smoke, we turned around and headed out. The caving was actually pretty easy for the most part due to the fact that water runs through it during the wet season, so it was mostly flat and even. However, it was still very tiring from having to walk so carefully on slippery surfaces and at the same time, watch my head. There were a few parts where I had to nearly crawl, but then it would open up again after only a few meters, so it wasn't too bad. After over 2 hours of hiking that cave, we hit another very wide and beautiful cave with a lot of great formations. After that, we were tired, hungry and had seen enough. We ended up paying the guide 10 bucks each and buying lunch from him. It was well worth it. He had two nice torches for us, and we NEVER would have gone where we did without him. Very cool. Tomorrow, come rain or shine, I AM GOING TUBING DOWN THE RIVER! I have put it off for several days now and all I hear is how fun it is. So Tomorrow, I am going for sure.

Greg

Vang Vien

Finally feeling up to moving again, I took the afternoon bus from Vientiane to Vang Vien. By the time the bus arrived it was pitch dark. We are dumped out of the bus out into the noisy street. Everyone on the bus is completely disoriented as to where to go. First impression: There are restaurants everywhere and they are all filled with young stoned westerners who are all pointed towards the big screen TVs that every restaurant has. At least 4 of them are playing reruns of Friends, all next to each other. It's the Friends block. Then there are the bar/restaurants that are showing movies like Star Wars, The Longest Yard, Chicken Run, Big Fish, Action flicks, etc. It's really sort of sick, but mesmerizing too. I found my way to the river where I wanted to stay, but all the riverside rooms were taken... Oh yeah, I guess it's now the busy season here in SE Asia. I have been used to easily finding great, cheap places to stay, but now I am here Vang Vien and I swear it's like SPRING BREAK. I sat down to eat dinner at one of the few restaurants WITHOUT a TV, and across from me was this bar playing obnoxiously loud music, LOADED with drunk, tanned tourists, and I saw in the middle of the crowd...a beer bong being raised. Hoots and hollors. Obnoxious young college guys and scantily clad women, which seemed so offensive to the locals, if a pleasant view for me. I found a cheap box of a room to sleep in for the night, only three bucks but ice cold showers and the ceiling fan was broken. I got up the next day with the hopes of moving into an opening room in Saysong Guesthouse, right on the river. I was wondering what the big deal was here. Unless you we here to get drunk or stoned off your ass and watch Friends reruns, it seemed like a rather boring, dumpy little town... Then I took a look outside my guesthouse from the balcony. Wow. Beautiful mountains. Gorgeous river. Too bad it's a bit ruined with beach umbrellas, loud speakers pumping out Bob Marley, and "chill out" bars right along the riverbank. Anyway, there's kayaking/tubing to be done, caves to explore, and "happy" pizzas to be eaten... ...who am I to judge before partaking of this particularly westernized kool-aid? I'll find out...tomorrow. Today, I'm just going to chill in my new place, swinging on the hammock on the balcony overlooking the river valley and mountains beyond, while reading Anna Karinina, an 800+ page Russian classic by Tolstoy. Life has just gotten a whole lot better. However, I am still awaiting news about Grover, so I am still uneasy about things. I pray he's ok, and I don't pray often.

Tuk Tuk Mafia

12.3
Good morning.
Ok, I think I need to move today. I am so tired of being stuck here, but there are certainly worse places to be stuck. Vientiane was very good and very easy. The people are friendly, the food is great, internet cafes are everywhere, it's quiet, and apparently the tuk-tuk drivers not only serve as your personal taxi drivers, but also as your pimp and drug dealer as well. At certain times of the day, the tuk-tuk drivers all gather around a few tables just around the corner from my guesthouse, like some kind of union meeting. Actually, I think it's a bit more Godfather than Norma Ray. I've noticed that there are NO OTHER forms of public transport available in Vientiane other than the tuk-tuk drivers. No motor scooter drivers. No cyclos. Just the tuk-tuks. Tuk-tuks are like motorcycles on steroids. They have 3 wheels and a covered bed in the back with a small bench on each side to sit on. I've seen 8 people with bags in one. But only about 4 farangs with backpacks could possibly fit in one. So I imagine these little tuk-tuk driver meetings deal with fixing prices, settling turf disputes, eliminating the competition (a motor scooter driver seems much more economical and useful for tourists.), etc. They clearly have some power here in Vientiane, because there are way too many of them, and they openly offer you prostitutes and all kinds of drugs on the streets.


I need to get breakfast, a bus ticket, go to the post office, the bank, pack up my considerable amount of gear and check out, all in just a few hours. No more time to write!

Hanoi Hijinks, Hemmorhoids, and the Onion Bus

There's a place in Hanoi you should avoid. The hotel is called Camellia Star hotel. Their address is 37 Yen Thai St. The email address is t&ttravel@hotmail.com. Be sure to email them a nasty letter, and if you happen to be in Hanoi, please give them the finger for me. They seemed nice when I was checking in, as they all do when you are perhaps going to spend money at their business. They were actually pretty nice all the way until I was checking out, then things really went downhill.

I've heard a LOT of similar stories while traveling in Vietnam about being lied to, ripped of, misinformed, and just getting serious attitude from the people if you don't want to buy something, so it may be something to do with the culture, but I don't want to sound prejudiced. I DID meet many wonderful Vietnamese people. Anyway, on with the story...



In order to stay a month in Laos, you have to get your visa ahead of time at a Laos Embassy. Two days before I wanted to leave Vietnam for Laos, We all rented bicycles from my hotel to do our visa business. We waited around for nearly a half hour, and when they finally arrived, two of them were the usual upright one-speeders, and then there was the shitty little mountain bike. I immediately went for the tallest bike, and Marc went for the other. Nada got on the mountain bike for about 10 seconds and then flat out refused to ride it. I did the chivalrous thing (and I didn't want to wait around for another half hour) and took the little bike. It was to be a key element in my future horror. After spending too much time getting fruit shakes and coffee, I left Marc and Nada to go to the Laos embassy to get my visa. It was only about 3 kilometers away at most, but it took a few stops to refer to the Hanoi map to be sure I was on the right track. Although my guidebook said otherwise, the Laos embassy closes at 4 pm. I got there at 4:06. 6 minutes too late! As I was riding home through the Hanoi traffic, I started to notice my ass was getting mighty irritated by the skinny, tiny, rock hard seat on this little bike that had my knees nearly hitting the handlebars when I peddled. Hotels, agencies, and guesthouses all over town advertise that they offer visa services, and for a few extra bucks, I thought it would be worth it to use my guesthouse's services to get my visa just to be sure I got it in time. I made it very clear I needed the one month visa, and that I needed it by the following day. "sure sure, one month, 40 dollars plus 3 dollar commission." They were certain they could do for me, and I would even "get it cheaper through them" than if I bought it myself since they "knew someone at the embassy"...so they said. The next morning I ask about my visa, and they show it to me, and it says Laos Visa type TR-B63. Nowhere does it show how long the visa is for, so I ask them," is this a one month visa?" " yeah yeah, one month, don't worry. " Ok, fine. (Cue the ominous music...)
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That morning, I feel my hemorrhoid swelling up painfully. Fabulous. I take baths all day, visit a pharmacist to get prep H and constipation pills (don't ask how I explained it), and start popping the codeine I brought from home, but nothing is working. It just keeps getting sorer and sorer. By late morning, it's a trial to just sit down on one of the tiny chairs that seem to exist everywhere in Vietnam. Getting up from them is even worse. I move in slow motion. If any of you have ever experienced the joys of a swollen hemorrhoid, you know what I'm going through. If you haven't, let me suggest that you get your thumbnails removed with a pair of rusty pliers rather than the constant discomfort and embar-ass-ment of this. Traveling with a swollen hemorrhoid comes recommended only if you love pain.

So, I've been at this Camilla Star hotel for several days. I bought my visa and bus ticket to Laos from them, and I brought them more business by having Nada stay here too. The night before, I sat down with them and had rice wine and food along with their friends, and felt like I was really starting to develop a little friendship with them. So that morning, since my 22 hour bus to Laos didn't leave until 6:30 that night, I explained to them that my ass was killing me from the bike they rented to me, and could I check out of my room a little later, say, 2 pm instead of the usual 12? Oh no, if I want to stay longer, I have to pay for another night. "But, my ass is killing me, I gave you a lot of business...how about a discount for just a few more hours.." No no. Nothing doing. I stay longer, I pay for another night. End of story. I could have paid the 6 bucks and stayed in my room, but it was the principle of the thing. So, I pack up, check out and hang out at cafes all day, trying to give my poor bum a little rest before embarking on what is sizing up to be a wonderful little voyage into the depths of hell.
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The bus is supposed to leave at 7 pm. The motor scooter driver picks me up at 6:30 sharp to take me to the bus. I sit very slowly on the back and we take off. Every little bump feels like hot needles. The 5 minute ride to the bus...no wait, to ANOTHER hotel is mercifully short. I sit at the hotel along with about 20 others, waiting for the bus to Laos, but the others aren't going to Laos. One by one they all are whisked off to other places by taxis and scooters. By 7:20, a new moto driver arrives to take me to the bus. My backpack is stacked in front of the driver, nearly blocking his view and giving him little ability to turn, while I sit ever so carefully on the back with my camera and daypack hanging from me, and praying for a short ride or a quick death...

...25 minutes later, we arrive at a dark parking lot well outside of town. I tried to just leave my body during the ride, so I can't tell you what I saw or where we were exactly. In the middle of this dark lot is a big shitty bus. I am asked to take all my bags on board, which I thought was unusual, since normally the bags go in the side of the bus. Getting on board I'm nearly knocked back from the stench and am simultaneously greeted by the 4 other fellow riders; A young Scottish guy, two women from San Francisco, and a Japanese woman who is traveling with them. I then see the piles of onions in the back third of the bus, and the backpacks stacked on top of them. It reeks of onions, and the floor is wet with red liquid that looks frighteningly like blood a la "The Shining". This should be an interesting trip. We all introduce ourselves and I just can't resist telling them my current health problem in order to receive some sympathy and perhaps break the ice. We start taking bets on how many times the bus will break down. We all settle on three as the magic number. After about a 1 hour delay, the bus rumbles to a start with about 7 people on board, thankfully, and we start out of the parking lot....only to stop and back up again. Trouble with the transmission. Breakdown #1 is underway. Two hours later, we head out again. It's after 10 pm at this point, and after reading with our headlamps for a short while, everyone tries to settling in for a sleep. We were naively hoping to awake at the boarder at 6 am, as we were told. At around 4 am, the bus stops and the drivers get out to start loading the inside of the bus with...more onions! I mean about 50+ more very large bags of onions...not only filling the back half of the bus, but overflowing into the empty seats and stacked high into the aisles around us and all the way to the driver up front. Getting out of the bus would now require climbing up on the bags, and nearly crawling our way to the front. The good thing is that now we have a place to put our legs - on the onion bags, and the other good thing is that onions keep the mosquitoes away. At several points in the early morning, the bus picked up a few more passengers, and let some people out for peeing, and at one point, the bus stopped on the side of the road for about an hour or so so the drivers could sleep. By 8 am, everyone was up and hungry...but there would be no stops for breakfast, no stops for water...we were obviously quite late for the boarder. The boarder didn't come until around 11 am. We all climb out and walk about a half mile to the Vietnam customs building in this dusty ghost town of large empty government office buildings. The mountains around the "town" were beautiful towering misty mountains which I only barely noticed because I was sore, hungry, and had a burning ass which demanded most of my attention as I slowly walked to the customs building.
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The customs office was like something out of a movie. The very stern, frowning customs officials came in behind us and then proceeded to dust off the counters so they could get down to business...leaving a cloud of dust in the air. Three officials each took long looks at each of our passports in turn, using a magnifying glass on some of them, and a special scanner on others, and murmured things to each other about each of our passports. After a considerable amount of examining and discussing, we eventually each got our Vietnam visas stamped USED with a tiny red rubber stamp. So, off the four of us go to Laos... but first, we have to hike there. The bus sat back beyond the boarder, so we were told to walk to the Laos customs up the road, actually quit a ways up the road, and over the summit, and back down the hill around the corner, about a 30 minute hike in fact. We were all hungry, thirsty, grumpy, wondering if we would ever see our bus and belongings again, and I was certain that soon blood was going to start seeping down my leg.
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We turn another corner and finally arrive at the Laos customs "office" which is little more than a roof over a concrete table and 4 chairs. The officials are very friendly compared to the Vietnamese freaks, and we all feel relieved about finally getting out of Vietnam...but there are problems. many problems. The Scottish guy and the two Californians were told by their travel agents back in Hanoi that they could get their Laos visas at the boarder. Well, apparently not at this boarder. The customs officials didn't know a lot of English, and not surprisingly, there was no phone here either. It seemed there was nothing that could be done for my three new friends but for them to turn around and head back to Vietnam, hopefully get their visa cancellations cancelled (that could take some time), and then somehow get a ride to a different boarder that WOULD give them a visa upon entry. What a nightmare! The Japanese woman and I had gotten our visas in Hanoi so we weren't about to turn around and head back, so we handed our passports over to get stamped. Surprise surprise, my visa also had problems. The one month visa I was assured I got...turned out to be a 5 day transit visa. A transit visa is the most ridiculous visa imaginable. It allow for only 5 days of travel, assuming that you are only going through the country on your way to some other country. It's clearly not what I asked for, and after checking my Laos guidebook about it, it costs 15 dollars. Those bastards at my hotel ripped me off and got me a 5 day visa for 15 dollars, pocketing the other 27 dollars I paid them. Well, at least I am going across the boarder, right? I figured I'd just explain my situation at the immigration office in Vientiane and all would be ok...
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The Japanese girl, Chieko, said a sad goodbye to her two American travel companions and the Scottish guy who all had to go back. After an additional 90 minute mystery delay at the Laos boarder, the onion bus and it's remaining 2 foreigners, along with 4 other Vietnamese/Laos people, started down the mountain into Laos. There was a little trouble in the bus, because a woman on the bus took Cheiko's 2 liter bottle of water, opened it, drank about half of it, then put it back where she found it while we were out of the bus at the customs office. Cheiko was so sweet about it it made me immediately like her. She was angry, but she has such a good nature, she couldn't even show her anger on her face even though she tried. She didn't know what to do. She handed the bottle back to the woman trying to frown and explain that this was not cool. The woman just shrugged her shoulders and said that her little girl drank it. She didn't even apologize! She just pretended it wasn't their fault. She tried the give the half-consumed bottle back to Chieko like that would settle everything. So I gestured that she should keep the bottle she stole, and buy Chieko a new bottle at the next stop. That seemed to be understood.
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I don't remember much of the rest of the afternoon. I tried to stay on my back as much as possible, trying to keep my butt from contact on the dirty vinyl seats and ignoring my hunger pangs. I realized that I hadn't taken a poop in about 3 days, mostly out of fear, but I knew that I would have to soon, and this made me very nervous considering the smallest fart was bringing tears of pain to my eyes. Mercifully, at around 4 pm, our bus blew a tire. I say mercifully because the timing of the blowout was perfect. The bus came to a stop directly across from a Laos restaurant, and about 100 meters from a tire repair shop. So, while the tire got repaired, we got to finally stop and eat something. Getting out of the bus was a struggle. There were so many bags of onions to crawl over, my back was stiff, and my brain was only functioning at about 10%. The restaurant had no menus, and nobody could speak English. Walking into the kitchen and pointing also proved to be useless, as there seemed to by only a bowl of weeds on the floor. Fortunately, Chieko had a Japanese guidebook for Laos that has photos of all kinds of Laos food. She just pointed and they made it. I pointed at the same thing and finally we had fried rice and my first Beer Lao in Laos. That cold beer tasted like nectar from the gods. The woman who stole her water bought two small bottles and gave us each one.

Back on the bus an hour later, we heading through some beautiful limestone karst mountain/jungle scenery, but I couldn't be bothered to sit up and take a single photo, I was just trying to get though this journey with as little movement and pain as was absolutely necessary. It was a struggle to get on and off the bus, so at a certain point, after that beer has passed through me, I really really really had to pee. So, I cut a hole into one of the empty 1.5 liter water bottles laying on the muddy floor and nearly filled it up, Then, at an opportune moment as I saw a big garbage pile on the side of the road, I chucked the bottle out the window into the garbage.
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After another several rounds of reading, sleeping, waking, gazing out the window, reading, sleeping...we finally arrived in Vientiane at midnight. the total duration of the bus trip from the moment we first started up the engines in Hanoi to stopping in Vientiane was 27 and a half hours. My clothes were filthy and reeked of sweat and onions. Climbing off the bus only half awake in yet again a dark parking lot well outside of town, we were left with the option of either paying 2 dollars each for a single tuk tuk driver who waited there for us, or walk. Since we had no idea where we were, it was very late, and there were no other options, we settled on the tuk tuk driver, after talking him down to 3 dollars for the two of us. I picked out a hotel from the guidebook that sounded promising, but arriving, we found it full except for one room with a large bed for 9 bucks. Chieko said she would look elsewhere if I watched our bags. She's very clever. She came running back after about 5 minutes and said there was a dorm available up the street. We wearily checked in and after begging, were made some fried rice for dinner for a dollar each. The dorm bed cost $1.50. After showering, we both climbed into bed at around 2 am. Today I got up, found a better, though much more expensive place to stay, where I have been typing this story, and after leaving Shieko a note about where I am staying, headed to the immigrations office to try to straighten out my visa problem. Naturally, it was closed when I got there, so I went to the market across the street to kill some time. Who do I meet but my Japanese friend! We walk around a while and agree to meet for beers later. I head over to immigrations and am given the bad news. I can't buy a one month visa here. I can only extend my visa 15 days max at an additional cost of 2 dollars a day. If I overstay my visa, it's a $10/day fee. So, my current rip-off $42 transfer visa ends in 4 more days. I guess I will buy the 15 day extension and try to get though Laos quickly.
It's sad, I really wanted to spend a whole month here, but fate has forced other things. In order get a one month visa, I would have to go back to Bangkok, get a 1 month visa there, and come all the way back. Why does that sound completely retarded? Because it is. Those fuckers in Hanoi have forced me to cut my trip to Laos short. I'll be sure to post complaints online at the lonely planet thorn tree, and boots 'n all, and as many other traveler's web sites as I can to warn them about this hotel scam. So, now I'll just stay here for a few days in Vientiane, letting my poor ass recover, prepare for my journey, and get my emails/website/finances in order before traveling on.
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12/3 Many things have happened to me while I've been recovering here in Vientiane. I have writing many stories about it, but I will spare you the details for now. But here's the lowdown:

1.) Got my visa worked out. I now have a MONTH in Laos. It took crossing the boarder into Thailand and coming back (about 3 hours), then a few more visits to the immigrations office for an extension.

2.) Catherine emailed me to tell me that we couldn't be boyfriend/girlfriend right now. This wasn't a surprise since we've hardly spoken in the last two months. It was inevitable, and we both knew it. Back to being good friends.

3.) Grover has an ear infection or polyp or broken eardrum and is getting an operation today, Friday. Please send good thoughts to the little guy. I miss him very much. I just had a dream about him the day before I found out about him.

4. Now I must go because I'm going to Vang Vein now!!!!